The Return from Goa

Wow, that was quite the trip.  I loved goa.  Want to go back.  Like, now.  Although the Bebinca was awful!  And the cashew liquor tasted like moonshine but not as refined.  Yeah, bad.  Otherwise, it was paradise.

Goa makes it very hard to leave India. 

To Goa I Go!!

Packed my bags, have my tickets and passport, my kindle is all charged and stocked up with several books!  My camera is a ruined heap of metal thanks to me dropping it on the ground so I'm hoping my travel partner can send me some of her pics to share.

My co-workers and friends have all been giving me ample ideas for things to do in Goa (I was content with sitting on the beach but there seems to be a lot more things to do).  At least the list contains mostly food to eat.  That I can do no problem.

love and hate

I’ve started eating with my co-workers. I know this sounds a little weird but before I would get my lunch served to me at my desk every day. Now I eat with my co-workers in the lunch room. It’s nice because everyone brings their own food but we have a staff who heats it up for you and serves it to you at your table with fresh bread. A little luxury, indeed. I really like the group eating except everyone takes my popudums. I love popudums and apparently my cook is the only one who makes them or brings them because they are totally gobbled up as soon as they are set on the table.


Eating with everyone has modified our relationships slightly and when I look back on my time here it was a great mistake for me to wait so long to join them. I probably came off as a snobby American elitist. I think more than anything though it’s modified my mind frame. I feel a little more included into the culture as it were and I find I’ve become enamored with Mumbai’s ways.

Mumbai is all about a love hate kind of relationship and I think the more you start to love Mumbai you can’t help but get annoyed at it. The city and it’s people are so friendly and open. Why don’t you JUST BUILD SOME f’ing SIDEWALKS? The smells of food are so amazing. Why can’t you just improve santitation? Would it kill you to clean up the streets of trash? Religions and peoples of all backgrounds seem to live in peace and harmony. Why must there be a symphony of dog howls, honking horns, and firecrackers every single night??  

Mumbai, such a strange beautiful messy city.  Colorful Hijabs, cows and goats meandering down busy streets next to people in bmw's and business suits.  Techno dancing drowning out hindu chanting drowning out the constant noise of traffic.  Sometimes while I'm sitting in a car and watching a new arrival from our boston office staring out the window I realize how amazingly crazy it all is, and then I also realize in that same moment how less crazy and expected it is to me.  I like that feeling.  And I hope that the person staring doesn't get a bad idea of the place by all the filth and disorder on the streets.

But that’s kind of the deal with Mumbai. I love it because it’s vibrant, colorful, and chaotic. And I hate it because it’s smelly, dirty, and chaotic.  But it wouldn't be Mumbai without both elements.

book vs. kindle

My issue with the kindle is not related to the device at all. The light design, the travel friendly size and practicality, instant access to books, and the built in dictionary are all features that after a few uses I find it hard to live without.

My issue with the kindle is kinesthetic. And also the fact that I can’t read maps in the beginning of the book due to small print which as an avid fantasy reader – is a very huge problem. I do love the library itself. In the town I grew up in it was a beautiful building that I still have memorized in my mind. The children’s section was through the back door and down the stairs, the Nancy Drew series was on the second shelf from the bottom in the 4th row (I not only read them all, I was a bit o/c about reading them in order. If the next book was out, I waited til it was back) and the choose your own adventure series books were in turnstyle bookcases. The Adult section (which sounds inappropriate now, I wonder if they renamed?) required a 2 flight walk upstairs. In those days there were “due date” cards pasted into the front of books. You could tell how popular the book was by the amount of stamps it had. In some cases the book required a second stamp slip which covered the original. I’d look at those stamps with the dates and start to think of the time out of the library the book had spent, imagine the book and where it was a few months ago and who had been reading it, or it sitting all by itself on the shelf for 2 years with no one picking it up.

I do this imagination process with coins too, as I wrap them. I love to wrap coins and I think of silly things while I do it – the fact that I might be splitting up two pennies that had travelled all the way from texas together (b/c you always seem to get at least 2 pennies back), if the coin from 1969 had one owner or 10,000. If the dirty coin I was adding to the roll would get washed or trashed, melted down, and remade into a new coin.

Ok, I’ve shown enough crazy for today. I miss you pages, but I love you my lovely white e-reader. You give me no cramps in my wrists and when I slide you off my lap accidently you still hold my page. And even though every book costs me money (except the books no one wants to read, those are free) at least I have instantaneous access to the book (in the USA). And I guess the point is that I know exactly where my e-reader has been. Library books…not so much.  OMG is that what they meant by "Adult Section?"

lights! Firecrackers! heartattack!

I am slightly conflicted about Mumbai. I like the city the best, especially visually, when it's a festival time: there are amazing lights all over the place, the energy in the city picks up but somehow radiates more ease making it less rat racy and more vibrant. However, the noises...oh gawd the noises! They will drive me batty.

Yesterday was Eid and there were no firecrackers at all. I don't want to get into a religious argument but as of now, Islam is winning over Hinduism in the celebration festival column.

I realized this week that I haven't left Mumbai since I've arrived here August 13th (which I believe would skew any reasonable person to irrate ideas). So in order to combat that issue I just booked a trip to Goa. I'm quite excited to get away for a few days.

November Reading (a little early)

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

The best written descriptions of traveling the European countryside – ever -- her writing is exquisite. This book made me want to hop on a train and backpack. Unfortunately the mystery regarding Dracula and his heirs, while compelling in the beginning, dragged on and on and on and on and on. I’d like to tell you that it has a worthy ending….nope, can’t do it. I’ll be picking up Kostova’s next book cause she is such an awesome wordsmith albeit with major plot issues. Maybe she got a new editor for her new book.

Julia’s Chocolates by Cathy Lamb
Hands down the biggest piece of shit I’ve read in awhile. I’d like to give this a redeeming sort of footnote but I can’t find a way to do it.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
My first Jane Austen book! And it was free on Kindle! Free Kindle gets me to read all sorts of stuff. Now I'll know what people are talking about when they talk of Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley and Mr. Collins and that tramp Lydia. This is a rather fun book. I don’t really know if Jane Austen deserves quite the rep she has but I found reading the novel enjoyable, if a little hard to piece together the exact sentence structure Austen utilized. Whatever it was I’m pretty sure I was not taught that form in 3rd grade.

The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Such a cool book. This thing grabs you on page one and doesn’t let you go. I loved the characters, found the writing magical (in part 1) and precise (in part 2), was entranced by the storyline, and found the entire package a satisfying way to spend a rainy weekend. Good read for any booklover.

Boneshaker by Charlie Priest
Go GRRLLL sci-fi writers! Seattle! Steampunk! Zombies! Need I say more? Okay, I’ll say a little more. I wasn’t very involved with the characters until the second half. In fact, I probably would have put the thing down if I got it from the library. Fortunately for me, I paid for it and I’m a sucker for committing to my mistakes once I pay for them. But I’m glad I stuck it through, this was one hell of a ride. Priest is a good writer but she could work on her pacing a little; otherwise I enjoyed this after getting through the beginning. There is also, at my age, something endearing about a 35 year old female protagonist in steampunk gear.

American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House by Jon Meacham
Here is my favorite quote from the book: "So it was that the former Secretary of War decided to kill the former Secretary of the Treasury." If that doesn’t get you to read it, then nothing will.

“Delhi Guys are Aggressive”

Says a guy from Delhi to me.

“Yeah, no shit.” I think. This thought came after having several opportunities to meet guys from Delhi. The word ‘opportunity’ is a misnomer - I should replace that with the word ‘experience,’ as in what you go through to learn from and become adept at either confronting head on or avoiding completely at a later time.

And while my experiences have manifest into a strangely coincidental occurrence of all culprits being from Delhi, (I’m just repeating what people in India say to me!) I would encourage these practices regardless of where people originate from.
Here are my pieces of advice for fellow single women travelers:

Do not sit alone by yourself

There is a reason my male friends in Mumbai (in retrospect I had no idea how lucky I was to meet right on the onset) informed me women in Mumbai do not go out without a guy friend with them. Because men are all OVER YOU. “What’s your number? What are you doing? Let’s get a drink! Let’s go right now. Let’s go back to my place.” Um, usually in america we exchange greetings and sometimes even a few words before we go there, buddy.

Do not carry any interesting paraphernalia which could be a potential icebreaker

Do you own a kindle or a blackberry? For the love of god leave that stuff at home.

Do not feign interest in their existence whatsoever

Trying to be nice? Trying to let them down easy? Trying to act civil while discouraging their lead? Stupid you (err stupid me). You gotta just shut that shit down pronto.

If you are from a bitchy country like the UK, France, or the USA use that to your advantage

Are your people known for their rudeness, distance, or lack of humanity? I’d suggest putting that cultural smugness into full affect if you are trying to rid yourself of unwanted attention. Condescension is always a romance killer.

If you sense someone staring at you, do NOT look up or stare them down, just ignore it.

I’ve learned by unfortunate circumstances that the stare down is apparently a female breeding call – where American men would be admonished, it appears to be an invitation for conversation and paying for dinner. Do your best to avoid.

I guess traveling without your boyfriend nets you on the “available” chart for most men. I’ve actually never been very good at telling guys to go away, mostly because I’ve rarely – if ever -- had a guy approach me out of the blue. I’m not good at being rude, nor do I want to be rude, but how can you politely ask guys to just stop bothering you?

Signs of assimilation

1) I get upset at having to spend more than 300 Rupees (6 bucks) on a meal and drinks.

2) In odd times of temperature drops to 65 I think it quite cold and get annoyed

3) When someone wants to have a meeting at 9:30 I look at them incredulously and say, “in the morning???”

4) I catch myself singing along to commercial jingles

5) I wake up early on weekends to get a good internet connection and find it odd that people expect me to have a somewhat decent connection at all times, especially at night

6) I found a few Indian women following my lead across the street! (they must have been visitors to Mumbai)

Meghan McCain vs. Obama (Pt. 3)

The most common liberal argument about the McCain picture was that Meghan showed off her chest illiciting a reaction that was calculated and narcisisticallly driven.  And as I have just pointed out, marketing oneself is key to how you are perceived and Meghan chose to market herself with a twitpic, thus opening her up for ridcule, right?  Wrong.

She did not make money off that pic, she did not try to sell any addiitonal ideas or images of herself from it.  It was a candid shot from a girl who is a complex person -- like we are all complex people.

Boobies illict all types of manly feelings, and apparently one of those is chauvainism.  Here is the tail end of that convo:

Me: You are really telling me that posting a pic of your chest discredits you from talking politics?
Yes.
Me:  Ok then I just got one thing to say to that.

In closing I had a lot more to close with but Stupak has deflated me.  I'll get my energy back soon.  For now, I'm hoping I've made some sort of point.

Meghan McCain vs. Jessica Simpson (Part 2)

This is an important topic to roll into the twitpic controversy b/c I think it's directly linked to it.  The issue is self marketing.  A lot of people choose to put these two in the same category (beautiful blondes on TV) who get pummeled by the media re: body image. 

It might surprise some people that I happen to believe that Jessica Simpson is open game on the weight issue.  Meghan McCain defends her and says it's the sickness of the media (which I mean, everything can rightly be blamed on the media, right?  Don't bother blaming the consumers) and while I tend to agree there is a sickness to it, I also happen to believe it's legit.

So why can Jessica be an object of ridicule on her body but Meghan cannot?  Easy - because of how they chose to make their money and represent themselves.

To get an idea, do a quick Google search for both Jessica and Meghan.  Click on images.  You'll see the differences immediately.  If you are too lazy, here is the most restrained Jessica pic and the most liberal Meghan pic:

Here's the thing.  Jessica was a singer but she made a LOT of her money selling her IMAGE.  People bought her records for whatever reason, but they also bought her calendars, her videos, and watched her TV show because of the way she looked.  Sorry girlfriend, I know it sucks to gain weight and all and have everyone be all over you for it but it's hypocritical to get upset over it now and not be upset over people talking about your body when they say, "damn she's hot" while buying playboy with you in it.  And yes, Britney deserves all the critique she gets on her weight -- these ladies sell a package of aesthetics.  There is a reason why no one cares when Alicia Keyes gains 10lbs; because she didn't sell herself like that.  To Jessica Simpson's credit, she does reply with class when her weight is attacked.  I sympatize with her situation but I don't think it's unjustified.

And herein lies the double edged sword with Meghan.  A child of a politican she was put into the spotlight at age 15 without anyone asking her.  She could have stripped down, sold a few records, modeled.  She's buxom and she's got the face for it.  But that's not what she chose to do - she instead went to Columbia, writes political articles, is writing her own book (*cough* palin *cough*), and is a voice of the young GOP right.  Her image is not for sale, and one little pic showing off less than a lot of people show off in a strapless does not modify that context.  And let's be clear about Nepotism -- this would in fact be a valid point if Meghan was actually running for office.  She's not.  She's actually got as much right to be in political discussions as, say, Luke Russert.  Where is the sceaming over him oh thee of the liberal blogging haters?

Nope, let's call it for what it was:  a very pointed attack on a GOP female (not crazy) voice that scares a lot of the left and the right.

Next (and last)  Meghan McCain vs. Obama

Meghan McCain vs. the Twitpic (Part 1)

A friend recently reminded me of the Meghan McCain Controversy that occured when Meghan twittered a pic of herself with her night in, wearing pj pants, a tank top, and holding a book.  The tank top wasn't sheer, but it didn't cover all of her mammery area, and intense uproar followed.

Why?

It's easy.  Women who speak their mind and show off skin are all sluts.  Duh.

Here are the rules, my female friends.  If you want to be taken seriously, make sure you always cover any part of your body that could possibly be considered sexual.  And if you open your shirt or wear a short skirt, for heaven's sake, don't talk politics!  That's subject for "serious folk."  Make like the taliban and COVER IT UP!

I happen to really like Meghan McCain.  Personally I think she's the only sane republican I've ever heard speak in the past few years.  Sure, she's young, her ideas are slightly naive, and she's got some confidence issues that being in a national public presence help highlight but I LIKE her ideas.  She's a fiscal conservative, pro-gay marriage, re-energinzing the GOP by moderacy, bi-partisan, etc.  She's a decent person and she speaks from her heart.  The situation is further upsetting b/c Meghan always presents herself in a conservative manner dress wise.  We aren't talking about a porn star(not that they too shouldn't be respected on their ideas), we are talking about someone who showed off about 50% clevage.  I'm sure her ideas were partly why she was targeted by the pic but that's not an excuse, it only makes it much...much worse.

Regardless of how you feel about Meghan's ideas, how you feel about her, or how you feel about politics, allowing the scandal to be thought of as anything other than mysogonistic is total and utter cowardice and a detriment to the female gender.

Bottom line:  Meghan is a full figured woman.  They are called boobs, stop acting like virgins and get over it.

Next:  Meghan McCain vs. Jessica Simpson

Insomnia Cont’d: Top 5 Strangest Indian TV Commercials

1. The Indian Pied Piper: So the concept is obviously off nationality wise but there is something so interesting about an Indian guy with a flute dancing bollywood style, signs that become animated rodents and follow him out of the town being cheered on by townspeople in turbans and saris. The commercial completely captivates me every time it’s on.

2. Abortion Pills: It’s nice to see how a religiously conscious country not politically beholden to the word of any religion reacts to certain issues.

3. Skin Bleaching products: There are so many of these types of commercials it’s no longer even phasing me. The variety still continues to inspire though: Dark spots, body bleach, face whitener, streaky skin, etc.

4. Namco Cookies/Crackers: I suppose this would translate better if I understood Hindi but the ad contains a house on fire, a happy woman, a sad man, a set of cookies, and then the guy decides to throw the firecrackers at the woman’s feet making her scream and dance. This makes him happy.

5. Boy turns into dog: A boy walks home from school, finds mom sad on the porch and then proceeds to get on all fours and act like a dog for 20 seconds. At first I thought this was a commercial for animal food, etc. but then the logo for the state bank appears on the screen. Hence weird.

Tables/Tops, Games, and India

It’s been almost 3 months since I arrived in India. While it’s the longest time I have been away from the States, it also happens to be the longest stretch of time that I have not table-topped gamed since 1994.


The thing I’ve learned about myself is that it is actually possible for me to survive without D&D, albeit in a not as happy state. I haven’t done any sort of search for a gaming group in India and I don’t even think I’d want to play with people here, minus the initial cultural curiosity that would prompt me to see if they did in fact game the same way. And why doesn’t the word “curiosity” contain the letter ‘u?’ Does anyone else think that’s weird?

Doing some initial searches of gaming and the industry itself net pretty bleak results. “D&D Mumbai” search will give you a forum question and answer about the board game. “Gaming groups in mumbai” list no value results except a few deceptive leads that take you to forums where people speak about the Mumbai attacks. There does seem to be a few stores in Mumbai that at least sell the D&D core rulebook, which is pitiful. We are talking a city almost 3x’s the size of NYC – think about how many stores in NYC sell specialty Indian Books (20)! Tabletop gaming’s appeal is just not permeating the Indian youths. Of the entire country of 1 billion people, Bangalore appears to have the most forum results but that’s a college town and an IT town which together spell D&D but even those reults seem pallid and slim compared to what a town that size should be encompassing; I guess there is some comfort that at least somewhere around here people are doing a little tabletop.

“LARPing in Mumbai” nets such irrelevant results that I felt even more pathetic for typing it in google in the first place.

Do Indians just hate magical fantasy games?  I don't buy it.  The country that created chess has got to love complicated strategic games and it's obvious by the Knight, Bishop, and Rook that they are a sucker for a party based system (rogue, priest, warrior anyone?).   I guess we'll be finding out soon - Blizzard just launched the first WoW server in India this summer. 

To Veg or Not to Veg

I’m thinking of doing something crazy. I’m considering a strictly reduced diet when I get back.

Since I’ve been here I’ve eaten mostly Vegetarian (clipped nice and neat in most restaurants as “Veg”). I haven’t eaten red meat since I arrived (it’s not impossible to find here just haven't craved it) and the only animal meat I've eaten since arriving has been a bi-weekly chicken dish.  I don’t miss meat one bit. My energy is the same, I’m just as focused, nothing is off or horrible. My bones aren’t breaking. Yeah, this isn’t so bad.

I’ve been thinking about it for awhile and for a lot of reasons, but mostly they come down to political ones- particularly animal cruelty and climate change. I read an article on it about a week, mostly due to accident but my browser somehow finds it’s way to these articles. Here is the latest one I read.

Of course I never do very well with ultimatums; this is how I failed at quitting smoking for years. So in order to actually succeed I’ve come up with my boundaries and what I plan on modifying:

• I will continue to eat animal products. Sorry milk cows and cheese goats, your utters are just going to have to suffer. And no one is going to get me to give up butter. No way. But hey it's better than an electric prodder to your mouth and a sliced neck, wouldn't you say?  However, since I recently realized my allergy to eggs, you win out there chickens but fyi - I was a consumer of cage free eggs – least I could do, ya know?
• In my opinion fish are not animals. Plus I’ve bought dolphin safe tuna since I was 15, when it wasn’t even fashionable. I promise to buy free water fish, or whatever they are called. And I won’t buy the kinds that are being over fished. I promise you that.

Side note: In India, the fish markets are only open early morning or after dark. This is because the fish are kept fresh on ice wrapped in heavy cloth with salt on top. The heat would melt and spoil the ice so instead they only sell in non-direct heat. After dark you can watch old fashioned carts carried by hand wheeled up and down the streets taking the fish to market. It’s not uncommon for people to go at 9pm for their food shopping needs.

I will allow myself several indulgences. They are as follows:

•  Bacon
• Thanksgiving/xmas meat
• If all options fail and are out of my control, I won’t fret, I’ll just eat

 What?? Don't look at me like that.  Bacon is awesome.

October Reading

Another month already.  You can check out my longer reviews or more books on goodreads!  I'm loving it so far!  http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/2810793-aj

Black Echo
Black Ice
Concrete Blonde by Michael Connelly
This would be 3 books, the first three of the Harry Bosch Series. It’s not that I found a series that I loved but rather an awesome deal on Kindle: three books for the price of one. Harry was a little annoying in the first book and I didn’t start to understand him until book 3. I hate not being able to say a main character’s name (Bosk, Botch, Bousch, what is it?) and for the first book I had erroneously inserted a phantom “r” into his name calling him “Borsk” in my head the whole time. Anyway, the 3rd book is the best of the bunch, the series keeps on going, I won’t.

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson
So I was so into finding a good detective series that I forgot my first love: fantasy/sci-fi series. This book was a nice reminder in the power of a good fantasy novel. It also hit the spot perfectly – I was in no mood to enter a whole new world the size and scope of a Martin or Jordan enterprise but I still wanted to be whisked away and entertained thoroughly. Enter the Mistborn prescription: I certainly felt completely compelled by these characters and enthralled with the world without feeling like I needed to reserve an entire section of my brain for trivia tidbits. Great read, worth the pickup. Sanderson will be completing the Wheel of Time Series which after reading Mistborn, I’m eager to pick up again.

The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
Supposedly the grandfather of all mystery/detective novels, Wlikie Collins spins a great Halloween read in the 1850’s. Beautifully written (warning – will take you a few pages to get into the style) and amazingly interesting. I found it to be surprising. Then again I find most mysteries surprising. But this one really had you on a story you never expected when you opened the book and I don’t want to say where it goes for fear of spoilage. This was also the first book I read for my new online women’s bookclub via “goodreads.” Pretty good first pick!

Baltimore Blues by Laura Lippman
Oh another day another mystery detective series. This one is Tess Monaghan. I can say her name at least. I couldn’t get an image of her in my head though (described as amazon-ish, lanky, stocky, and muscled – as you can see I just wrote two pairs of antonyms) . It’s storyline wasn’t compelling and the main character kind of sucked. However her friends kind of rocked. I’ll probably pick up the next to give it a whirl – when I’m home and can grab it from the library.

NixonLand by Ron Perlstein
I learned a lot in this book which isn’t to say it was great. At times I felt he was rushing through to the end of a level in super mario brothers with the theme music chasing you down the last few seconds you had left to jump that final pipe…AH! Pages of facts and headline news articles were strewn together with very subjective commentary, which is fine if you are writing a thesis. The problem is that Perlstein throws out the idea and never really appropriately argues for it. I’m glad I read it because I had a lot of insight into the then, and the commonalities with now. I just wish I had more answers and lesser feelings of hate.

Dude, where's your floor?

I walked into my building today and the security guard stopped me to show me a piece of furniture that he said was mine.  He gave me paper, I told him I didn't order anything, he said it was my company.  I asked if I needed to sign anything.  This was all communicated in Hindi, and apparently poorly.

A guy standing there looked at me trying to figure out what was going on and jumped in to help communicate to the guy.  I thanked him, still unsure, took the paper, and walked toward the elevator.  The main security guy came out, saw the paper in my hands, said "nonono" took it, then I shrugged and got into the elevator.  The main security guy said something else to me so  I stepped out of the elevator, the english speaking dude  helped translate again and then we got into the elevator.  I pushed my floor and asked him what floor he was going to.  He pushed the floor before mine.

In the elevator he started to small talk me with the standard stock questions:  where you from?  Why are you here?  Where do you work?  What do you do?  You get the point.  He was a younger guy, not unattractive.  He said he worked at Chase bank and took a lot of calls from Boston people.  His name was Amit.  The door opened at his floor, he didn't get out.  The door closed.  I said, "you missed your floor:"  He smiled.

We got to my floor, and he got out with me.  It was only a few seconds later and he said "I'll walk up, my uncle is on the 16th."  Which was weird to me that he pushed the wrong button.  Then he asked if he could have a glass of water. 

"Oh, well, I don't have any filtered water."  I lied.
"That's ok."  He said.

By this time I was at my door with the door open, which unfortunately looked right into my big filtered water cooler completely full.

"Oh, they must have replaced it."  I said  I kept the door open and got him a glass, standing in the doorway.  Just then my phone rang.  It was security.  Security and I always have a 5 minute conversation in 2 different languages and I never know what the heck the point of the call was.  Something was different this time -- after a few minutes he said, "I'm coming" and hung up.

In the meantime Amit was very nice, casual, giving me tips on commuincating with indians "use hand signals!  It helps."  I nodded. 

"Why are you here to see your uncle?"  I asked.
"For Money."  He said honestly.
"Well, I'm going to go grab a drink."  I lied, grabbing my bag and keyes and shutting the door.  I suddenly felt exposed with my living area open.  Just then security came up.  Lots of Hindi resumed.

I walked down to the lobby with security because he kept pointing at me and I suddenly did want a drink. 

In the lobby Amit started talking with the security people.  He pointed at me, they pointed at me, and he said, yes, they said no.  More Hindi.  Voices were now raised.  2 other men gathered around, none of which spoke english apparently.  One looked at me and shook his head, as if in sympathy with my plight, which I knew nothing about.  Finally in the middle of the yelling I said, "Amit, what is going on?"

"They are telling me my Uncle isn't here and I have to go."  I'm not stupid, I knew that he was using me to gain access to the building and security had already decided not to let him up but he must have told them when I walked in that he knew me.  But I was morbidly curious on what was going on and what his motivation was to be there so i decided to stay.  Finally he looked at me and said, "did you want to go for a drink?"

"Yes, I'm going to go next door, you are welcome to join me, but i'm only having one."  I planned to confront him over a drink, try to get out the real story. 

"Are you having beer or wine?"
"I don't know."
"Let's exchange phone numbers."
"Ok" I said, thinking that if nothing else, I'd have some way to track the guy if in the future the apartment building asked questions about him.
"Do you want to go over to another bar?"
"No."
Silence.
"So, you want to go to the bar?  You don't want to order in beer or wine and stay upstairs?"
"No, I want to go out."
"So are you having beer or wine?"  I racked my brain trying to remember if roofies disolved faster in one or the other while thinking does this guy want to date me or does he want one of my kidneys?

"Look,"  I said, going from curious to exasperated faster than I knew possible, "I'm going to have a drink. Right there.  I am having one, then I'm going home.  Alone.  If you want to join me you are welcome.  If not, thanks for your translation help."

"What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Amit, you are being kind of weird."
"I'll get some ATM Money and meet you!" 
"Um, ok."

I sat down at the bar, pulled out my kindle, and hoped I would be left alone in peace.  I got my wish.

The Effect of The ‘Bama

Most Americans, regardless of political affiliation, are aware of how the election of Barack Obama has heightened the world view of the US. I too, was similarly aware of the notion that it would somehow increase our standing abroad.

Living abroad, and seeing it in actuality, provide a much different viewpoint on the subject.

I’d be doing an injustice to remain silent on the subject; its effect is so pervasive it’s actually necessary for me to discuss. It’s important to note that it is not at all about Obama’s policies, his diplomacy, or his leadership that lead to these emotions of him, it’s simply who he is that brings about such passion. I run the risk of sounding cliché when I speak of it and it troubles me because it’s such a tangible essence that it needs to be taken seriously. Obama’s election reminded people what America stood for, it reinvigorated the American ideal and dream; it made hope attainable.

Hope is something that most Americans attribute to better living: higher salary, ultimate leisure and consumerism, and an identifiable place in society. These are not necessarily ungallant notions or goals, but it is easy for us to forget what the hope of others might be as we live out our lives. I do not put myself above this, in fact I put myself smack in the fray. My political machinations, my idea of success, my ultimate goals for happiness are things I only categorize as living my life in the united states. It doesn’t make me or anyone else in america less or more of a person, it only makes us unattached to the trials of others.

While some of my realization on the subject has happened when speaking with Indians, a great more of it has happens while I have spoken with expats. It’s easy to forget that almost every country has a minority or in worse cases a suppressed population with their rights varying depending on the situation. Some are dealing with social and financial disparity, others still with slavery, exile, and genocide. Sometimes my conversations will with foreigners travels to politics and in some cases they engage in a lively discussion. More often than not, their eyes glaze over – until the subject of Obama is broached. This is when many an eye lights up. Most conversations go in such a similar fashion that I find it remarkable that of all the differences in the world there seems to be one equal sentiment.

“Obama!” Head shaking. “Unbelievable.”

“Unbelievalbe how?” I ask fearing a litany of anti war rhetoric.

“That America…that you elected this man. America, it is the leader of all things in the world. And America, has elected this man, a minority! You’ve changed everything for everyone else in the world. You…America, you have changed everything!”

I paraphrase many a conversation and I hope I have not done any of them a disservice, but when I hear those words, I can’t help but get emotional and a bit prideful. Obama isn’t the answer to the world’s problems, and I think what politicians and a lot of people don’t get is that it’s not the POINT. He represents an idea of human equality. He represents the overthrow of human oppression. And in America, while we continue to fight along political frontlines and rumble about millions vs. billions, the rest of the world sees something much more in his election by a white majority.  They see us, for all our remonstrations and perversions, as an idea that works.  Not even just for americans in america, but maybe...just maybe...for them too.

Insomnia top 5 list for tonight (male actors)

India has given me insomnia.  When I can't sleep I try to come up with top 5 lists.  Tonight's idea was inspired by some of the very handsome Indian men on TV and movies here.  I don't know or can't remember any of their names.  But in honor of them I have reworked my top 5 male actor list.  It's important to note that this list also has bearing on an actor's ability to act as well as his looks.  For instance Zac Efron - super cute - but acting chops suck and therefore I find less attractive.  The last time I made such a list of actors I was in high school and it went like this:

Old Skool:
1) Edward Furlong
2) Eric Stoltz
3) Kyle Maclachlan
4) Leonardo Dicaprio
5) Bhaltzer Ghetty (yes, seriously)

Anyway, moving on to modern times:

New Skhool:**
1) Alexander Skarsgard
2) Jamie Bamber (thank you BSG towel scene)
3) Jonathan Rhys Meyers
4) Ed Westwick
5) Michael Vartan

God, i'm all about european white actors in suits.  Need to find some diversity. 

**Seth Green is always on the top of any list but given his given status, I didn't include him.

Daily oddities

Here are some things that happened to me over the past week:

- My office was under the false impression that I practiced Islam. It’s a weird thing to mistake. It’s ironic too since most people in the US office assume I’m Jewish. Anyway, the food here is very fattening. I’ve had to have Anand cut back on cooking since I jumped up about 10 lbs. my first month – I now eat fruits, raw veggies, and yogurts and light sandwiches for dinner and only eat Anands heavy ghee, oil, cream, curry and chapati lunches. While this has brought me back down in weight, I am apparently considered to be “fasting” and therefore some religious mistakes have occurred.

- I’ve made multiple attempts to befriend my expat neighbors. However, whenever I go up to the 18th floor (which contains 3 doors to different apts) no one answers any of them. I will say that at first I only tried one door per visit in an attempt to narrow down which flat they were located in. I’m now at the point of pure frustration and buzz on everyone one in the span of 10 seconds - with no door openings. Fail.

- I’m probably going to go see a movie every weekend going forward. The movie theatre is right next door. I went yesterday to see Inglorius Basterds (and don’t nitpick me on spelling…that’s what you get for giving your movie a messed up title) and the theatre has these big plush red arm chairs that you can practically lay down in w/ recline - AND stadium seating. It’s immense. And so comfy!!! I loved it. Hopefully most amerian movies will be playing in one of the "Red Lounge" theatres.  So cool.

- I’ll never get used to the sideways head nod which denotes acquiescence but to me looks like a very strong negation. There is nothing like explaining a process to someone and having them sit there and look at you shaking their head back and forth. “What don’t you understand?” I’ll ask in my most patient voice I can muster. And they look at me with confusion – “I understand” they say and then I remember that shaking heads no mean yes.

- Trying to book a last minute mini vacation for the weekend since it’s Diwali. I’m slightly motivated by my security guy who keeps asking me about Diwali and some weird thing about a tip or 3000 rupees. I have no idea what the hell he is saying to me. I figure leaving would be best – no confusion and no tip/present requirement. Ok, that’s not really why I am motivated but it’s still weirding me out.  I’m excited to get out of Mumbai though, breathe some halfway decent air (no offense to Mumbai peeps but it's true, this place does not have clean air).

Top 5

Here is my Top 5 list for Mumbai!

1) Food. I love the taste, but especially the smell. If you are walking down the street and catch a whiff you almost want to clobber your way through to wherever the smell is emanating from in order to stuff it down your throat. And yes, if you happened to have caught my company news article I lied. I didn’t know what else to write, it was a political nightmare. The food here is amazing and I love it.

2) It’s very colorful here! Not only are the streets filled with people in amazing Saris and Salwars, cars and trucks are even decorated to the hilt. There are splashes of pinks, reds, purples, gold, greens, yellows – any color you can think of and it’s everywhere. And these are not the muted choreographed colors of 1st world countries, it’s a bold pop. Additionally between stall colors and posters and carts set up on the road showing off their colorful jewelry or fruit or other wares, it is surrounding and encompassing. It’s lively and it’s invigorating and it makes me happy.

3) I’m sure in a city of 22 million there are shady and mean characters. However, I have been fortunate to run into only the opposite. India has a cultural understanding of ‘hospitality’ and people are generous with their time, food, and other material possessions. If you say you like something, they ask you if you want it or if they can get you something similar. If you say, “I wish I could cook Indian food like this.” They invite you over to their house so their wife can teach you her method. They are indeed genuinely worried that you feel comfortable and happy in their country.

4) Mumbai has a lot of foreign investors paying a lot of mind to it. It is the 3rd highest growing real estate market in the world and it has a ton of cheap labor and highly skilled services available. It makes the city pulse with a clearly different type of national and international feeling. Most of India tends to be regionalized but here it seems so many people of different cultures, classes, nationalities, etc. are mixing. While the aesthetics are something left to be desired, the cosmopolitan feel cannot be. It’s easy to find a European in a coffee shop or an Australian sitting next to you at dinner. Sometimes you talk to what you think is a Mumbai native and they end up being from London or some exotic South Continent locale. It’s surprising but also educational. And people are friendly and willing to talk, not at all like the stuffy New England area.

5) I hope I don’t come off as a prick but I really do enjoy having someone to help me with household chores. I’m a notoriously hateful cleaner. I dislike it so much that I hire people to do it for me at home – and that’s just cleaning my house. I still have to do dishes and laundry myself. So having someone cook, clean, go shopping do my laundry, and bring me hot lunches every day – well let’s just say it’s nice to see how the other side lives. Even if only for a few months.

For Nana

Hind (Nana) Matthews died yesterday. My heart hurts.

Since I only ever knew one of my grandparents, Nana and Tom were the perfect surrogate pair. Nana herself was a funny and amazing woman. She was born in Baghdad, grew up in Beirut, lived in India, Egypt, Turkey, and Switzerland (among other places), went to college in Paris, and finally moved to California to do her doctorate at Stanford. From there she and Tom somehow landed in Elmira, NY where they met my parents. And when Nana was offered a job as a school psychologist in Williamsport, PA she recommended my father for the same position.

So I guess in a way my whole life was shaped by Nana.

I remember her as a foundation to every aspect of growing up. From the fact that my mother had dinner at her house the night she went into labor with me (and incidentally my sister as well), to me not eating from either my mom or dad so Nana would come over every day and feed me, to having Nana and Tom a part of every family occasion and being a part of every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner (Nana had a habit of falling asleep at the table after a big meal), they were an integral part of our family structure.

There are little things as well, things that have infinitely changed and molded me and I’ll never be able to fully verbalize or understand. And there are things which will always be a part of me on such a deep and profound level that I will never forget them.

Nana and Tom were travlers, and up until a few years ago would always go to an exotic location between trips to Iraq or Seattle to visit their respective families. It was common knowledge that they were world afficiados and a very common question from mutual friends would be, "Where did Hind and Tom go this year?" Most of these trips brought home small memento for my sister and me as well as evenings sitting infront of the slide projectors reliving their experiences.

One of my most comforting memories of Nana was at my father’s funeral. We had a service in Williamsport and then we drove to Pine Grove (2 hours away) to bury him. When we returned from the long drive we were greeted with the eerie quiet of the house, the first time we had been there alone since my father had died several days before. We all sat at the dining room table (Mom, Nan, Shawna, and me) with Nana and Tom where we had shared so many dinners and time together. And we just sat in silence and reverie. But having them there took away the loneliness and anxiety of entering a new phase of life in that house and made us remember our friends would always be near.

Nana had sharp wit and usually made comments that would send an entire room into hysterics. However, my favorite memories of Nana circled around food. She was an amazing cook and would create these middle eastern feasts of Moussaka, Kibi, Kheema, Taboleh, and other middle eastern delicacies. She made this green bean dish that was to die for and everyone who ate it could not believe how good it tasted. No matter how many times you made it though it never tasted the way the recipe was written. So finally I asked her, “Nana, can you teach me this recipe?” She said, “what’s to teach, it’s easy.” So I said, ok, let’s go through the ingredients. Beans, onions, tomatoes, garlic?” She said, "Yes, that’s it." “That’s all Nana? Nothing else?” “No nothing else.” “So do you add any spices?”

To which her head snapped at me with an incredulous look. “Of COURSE you add Spices!” She almost shouted.

“Err, okay, like what?” I asked shyly.

“Well…OBVIOUSLY, you would add Cinnamon, nutmeg, mace, cloves…” I smiled in spite of her serious tone while furiously writing down the long list of 'obvious' ingredients.

I'll miss you Nana. I'm so sorry I can't be there to properly say goodbye to you.

September Reading

Oh, wow have I really read all these books since my last post?

Outlander (by Diana Gabaldon)
As stated somewhere else (here? Twitter? Fb? I dunno…) while being away from home I have found that I feel comforted by series and have therefore been striving to find a good one. This isn’t it. Too romantic and at times it felt like I was watching torture porn -- except I was reading it. I got through the whole thing but will not be picking up the remaining 6 books in the series. I seem to remember my mom liking this book which, I won’t lie, skeeves me out.

The Picture of Dorian Gray (by Oscar Wilde)
Okay, so I ordered the kindle edition for 2 reasons: 1) it was free and 2) I admit, the character in League of Extraordinary Gentleman enticed me enough to give it a whirl. God that movie sucked. But the book was pretty fabulous. First of all, the writing was just pure joy to read. I felt like I was actually learning to be a better writer while reading and I also just enjoyed the way Wilde put sentences together. Second, it treated it’s readers as intelligent beings and it left a lot to the imagination. And third, beyond my own intentions, the characters grabbed me and I found myself equally sympathetic and detesting them at the same time. Short, well written, and a nice reminder on the perils of vanity.

Already Dead (by Charlie Heston)
Another vampire novel? I originally ordered it b/c it was part of a series. This one was written as a PI Noir case. The language was too forced, the dialogue was not quoted and it became confusing. And the world just wasn’t that interesting. So big fail on this one. Will not be picking up another of the series.

1st to Die (by James Patterson)
Why the hell is this man so rich? It really pisses me off to see these craptastic writers become huge millionaires. Anyway this is his woman’s club murder series and I thought I’d give it a chance, partly because I like murder mysteries from the POV of a woman investigator and partly because it was a series. (See the theme?). Please refer to sentence #1 for my feelings on this book. Another series I will not be reading.

Are you there Chelsea? It’s me, Vodka (by Chelsea Handler)
Ok, this girl would be a great riot if you fed her a few cocktails, got her into a party dress, and took her out with you. Reading her book though was not nearly as fun. Her attutide came across as false and forced, her voice was a little too smug. I didn’t make it all the way through but I’m sure I could probably sketch her life out by watching her show for a few nights. Which is what I’ll do if I ever get curious on how it ended.

I’ve been reading a few political novels very slowly, I hope to finish them in the next few week in an attempt to make my next book post more bourgeois.

Found in Translation

Anand, my cook, does not speak much English. He’s learning a few words b/c of me but our conversations at night tend to be of a comical nature. We should have our own sitcom.

He sent me a text last week. It was in Hindi so I took one look at it and ignored it. The following day, he sent me another text. Thinking that I had missed something important, I took my phone to a work friend and said, “Can you translate this?”

She looked at it and said, “What is this?”

“It’s not in Hindi?” I asked. She shook her head. Thinking he had written to me in his native tongue I asked a few people if they recognized the language and could translate. Everyone I asked responded with: “I don’t know this language.”

The lack of knowledge on the langauge didn't seem weird to me as India has 22 major and upwards of 200 languages total. What struck me as strange was that Anand would write to me in a language that I could not have easily translated. It was clear I was missing something and I felt compelled to figure out the mystery of this text. I looked again at the message: Meem.tuomaro.es.kameeg.es.nokameg.peelis.meesis.

I started to speak it phonetically, and that’s when it hit me. If I spoke it like he spoke English, it became:

Meem.tuomaro.es.kameeg.es.nokameg.peelis.meesis.
Ma’am, tomorrow is coming is no coming please message. (should he come tomorrow?) I went back to his first text:

Meem.keefoor.sikroote.oofecs.TEUKUY.
Maam, key for security office. Thank you. (He left key for my apt. with office security).

There are a few ways to make me feel guilty and this one did it, tenfold. I added 'buying a Hindi dictionary' to my list of to do for the weekend.

Egg on your face

I had the good fortune of having my cousin fly from Chennai to Mumbai to visit me for a weekend. She is 20 years my senior and she and I have met several times over the course of my life since I was 13. Any knowledge I have about India and my family comes from her (no thanks to my father who remained mum on the subject until his death). This trend continued as we discussed cooking and our diets.

During the conversation I mentioned that I like to eat protein in the form of eggs. She shot me a look and said, “Aren’t you allergic to eggs?”

Now this of course made me stop in absolute surprise. For years I’ve been contemplating that I have in fact been allergic to eggs. I usually get a tummy ache when I eat them but when I’d mention it to a doctor or a friend I’d get brushed off with: “What? How can you be allergic to eggs?? And why would it make your stomach hurt?” So I’d attribute the feeling to poor cooking technique or some other weird thing going on with me at the time.

Feeling somewhat vindicated I said, “YES! Yes I am!!!”

To which she looked at me strangely and said, ‘So why are you eating them?” Properly admonished, I just shrugged.

She proceeded to tell me that as I get older I’ll get more allergies -- although now that I think back it might have been wise for me to ask her what food would have initiated such an effect (I still shudder at Hive Implosion ’09).

I went too early on Saturday and I still have no idea about the Huka Smoke shop.

Exploring sedentary life

So this week I got stuck in a flash flood, made progress at work, got sick twice and recovered both times, got drunk twice(not at all related to being sick), and let my guard down with good rewards.

My 6th (!!) weekend is upon me and it’s the first time since I arrived that I have absolutely no plans unless I’m surprised by some random out of country person stopping by to visit me. I have a few things I plan to do, like make it down to MegaMall to check it out, locate a Henna place -- b/c I think that Henna is super cool -- and meander to a cool coffee shop I found and spy on the Huka Smoke shop next door to figure out what exactly is going on over there. The first time I wandered by and saw people smoking I did a double take but was unable to understand the full scenario occurring in front of my eyes. Since then I’ve decided to try to try to do some reconnaissance to get to the bottom of it.

I’ll let you know what I find out!

Books

A lot of people ask what I do every night when I go home which I find a weird question. For some reason, since I’m an expat, my nightlife is of extreme interest to my co-workers. Since most of them have husbands and wives and kids they must perceive me to have significant opportunity to fill my evenings with exotic pastimes. I generally disappoint them with riveting tales of trying to watch hindi news to learn some of the language, wandering around the mall next door, or reading books on my kindle.

I guess if I was being 100% honest I would also add that I usually make it out to 1 or 2 bars a week, upscale lounges with tons of interesting people that I usually share a drink and conversation with and find out interesting facts about the world. For instance, did you know that Fiji went through a coup in 2000 and ousted its Indian prime minister? I learned this from my new Fiji friend who lives in Sydney, works mostly in Singapore, and is now in Mumbai for a few weeks. That kind of detail is hard to squeeze into the conversation though so I usually just say: ” I read books.”

I’ll be keeping a list of books I’ve read since I’ve been here because I want to. Subsquent books will probably get more attention but as this is my first post it will be a simple list. I HIGHLY encourage book recommendations so please leave your comments if you have any.

Valley of the Dolls (Jacqueline Susann): OK
Murder on the Orient Express (Agatha Christie): OK
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Steig Larrson): Great!
The Girl who Played with Fire (Steig Larrson): Good
Orcs (Stan Nicholls): Good
The Family (Jeff Sharlet): Good
A is for Alibi (Sue Grafton): Sucked

Indians say the darndest things

Here are some quotes I've collected over the past week alone. I am constantly amazed by how different our cultures are and nothing is as eye opening as daily conversation to make the case in point. Niceities such as political correctness and conciousness of generalizations are not even considered. People are matter of fact and I'd go so far as to say insensitive -- not only the speaker but the receiver. Or perhaps a better way of putting it is that america and parts of the west are so hyper sensitive that the truth isn't even truth anymore. I think that we could learn a little from India and they could learn a little from us. And I think both would be better for it.

Without further delay, here are my favs:

“So you don’t have a lot of vegetarians in America do you?”
“Eh, we have some. And vegans.”
“What’s a vegan, they don’t eat fish?”
“Or cheese.”
“Why the hell would someone do that?”

“Northern Kerala is different than the south. In the south people are short, dark-skinned and ugly.”

“You’ll learn about the different parts of India as you go along. For instance no one in Bengal does anything, they just talk.”
“Everyone? Not one person does a thing?”
“That’s correct.”

“She’s such a cool girl -- so sweet. Not pretty, but nice.”

“Indian men are such gentlemen. Then they get married and go crazy.”

I try not to eat bread which is difficult in India. First it’s SO GOOD. Second, bread is a staple here and not eating it does not seem to be an option. The following two things happened to me in the past 2 days:

@ restaurant: Said, “No Chapati!” so they took it away. 1 minute later a basket of Roti was brought to the table. I said “no” but they said, “No chapati…Roti!” Gave up and stuffed myself.
@ home: In an effort to stop being fed plates of carbs I told Anand “bread makes me fat.” And he replied with, "go to gym” and dumped chapatis on my plate.

Brighter

I've been getting a lot of comments that my last entry was depressing. You'd never know anyone even read this blog since I have no subscribers, but apparently that is not the case. So thank you to all of you who do check in and I do apologize if I brought you down. In order to show my sincerity, I will share with you the following ancedote (convo @ work):

“I’m freezing!”
“Are you really cold?”
“Yes!”
“We had the A/C up for you. Aren’t you from boston?”


Here is the street I cross every day to get to work. 8 lanes, fast traffic, and me - in heels. It's bound to come to an awful head one of these days.

creature comforts

I’m sort of a creature of people. Even though I usually don’t think much of most people, I like to be around them. That’s why I live in a city. It gives me comfort to be near other human beings, to be part of a collectiveness, some small individual piece that’s part of a greater whole; a cog in the wheel if you will. I don’t know why this makes me feel better, it just does.

Mumbai, while filled with more people than have ever been in my near vicinity, has in its complete lack of similarity to anything I know, a stylized artistic tilt to it that is reminiscent of Charles Bukowski’s self inflicted isolation. I think of him as I sit at my small table in my small unadorned apartment watching the ceiling fans twirl above me. All I need is a bottle of scotch and a pack of smokes, preferably a half smoked stick sitting in an ashtray, its smoke curling in a cloudy romantic tendril around me.

Is this separation self-inflicted? I am indeed separated. Communication is somewhat difficult, not so much in conversation, but understanding what is truly an acceptable thing to ask according to custom/culture. You kind of just have to go for it, but it does nothing to help with the feeling that you are completely and totally alone. Doing the easiest thing can be quite complicated. Last week, someone had to help me dial our Delhi office. This morning the security guard waved me away from an ATM machine. I realized after about a minute of incredulity at not being allowed to use it that he was saying, “out of service.” Asking where to buy a beer or where you can find a mcdonalds is surprisingly difficult with people that are supposed to speak English.

As I write documentation of my time here it would be dishonest to not write about the less thrilling parts of my adventure, the parts where I’m annoyed and even disgusted with Mumbai: it’s unhygienic and uncouth ways. The culture mixes attitudes and lifestyles with behaviors completely startling and other behaviors completely commendable. But the bad things are there, and I notice them too.
Some days it’s all I notice. Other days I get indignant at criticisms of Mumbai and I come to her defense. And days like today, I just want to know where the fuck I can buy a pack of smokes.

Working dogs

While there are many differences in the ways Americans and Indians do things that I find interesting each and every day, I wanted to dedicate an entry to 2 of the more fascinating ones that I came across in the past week.

The first occurred at work. I’ve come to realize a significant amount of differences in work style – first the whole “arriving to work at a certain time” concept doesn’t really apply here, much to my absolute joy. This is not intrinsic to India, speaking with a person from Khatmandu this week I learned it’s a similar culture in most places in southeast asia (perhaps other places as well, this just happens to be the extent of our respective knowledge put together). The Chai Walla is of course quite a nice addition to work. Getting up to make a copy is apparently not something one does here, that’s left to the office boys. Personal space and forethought to other people’s time is not something people care about. In fact I’ve been counseled throughout my first 2 weeks here to “be less formal” and to “barge right in."

Overall I’ve noticed that political correctness doesn’t really seem to exist. People say it like it is, and it’s a refreshing, if sometimes brutally honest, country. However, this does not stop within the workplace. When speaking with a vice president about a process, I asked “who can help me understand this?” to which he tells me a name I don't know and to explain this person he says: “He’s the fat guy with the turban and the beard and he walks with a limp cause his leg is messed up.” Say what??? That’s 4 cases of potential lawsuit in the states. I recover from momentary shock to say, “ah, ok…that’s a good description.” Seriously, I said that. I just didn’t know what else to say. I wonder if I’m “the white girl from boston who drinks a lot of tea.” I can’t help it, I’m addicted to the Chai Walla.

The second eye opening moment occurred Friday night after a few drinks at a swanky joint in bandra. One thing about India which I need to disclose is that there are an inordinate amount of dogs running around the streets, and at night they go into a howling orchestral symphony that lasts about 2 hours. It’s awesome if you re into dog symphonies; I’m not. Anyway, we are on the street chatting and this dog wanders by us and curls up right by the bar door. I know a lot of these dogs are just scavengers but I couldn’t help but wonder what a local thought so I turn to our guide and friend for the evening and ask, “so do these dogs all have owners somewhere or what?” to which my friend laughs. “No.” He says simply. My continued stare brings a rather poignant comment from him, “I don’t really understand Americans and this ‘owning of dogs.’ We don’t bother them and they don’t bother us. They have as much right to these streets as we do.” Well…ok. There are probably more humans sleeping right on the streets of Mumbai than dogs. I guess if you put it that way I get your point. But these dogs -- there is a different story and undercurrent to human behavior when you view their relationship and the sharing of city resources – you never want to touch the dogs but there is never any fear of them either. They wander right along the street next to you or cross the street near you or lay down and go to sleep next to where you are standing – it’s a symbiosis with animals I never have ever felt before and I had to recognize and appreciate that fact. Sure, the streets were dirtier, but the animals were more free.

SRK arrest

The detention and questioning of Shahrukh Khan (SRK) at Newark, NJ last weekend has generated quite a lot of hot feelings in India.

The incidents of Indian Nationals being treated suspiciously in the US upon landing has gone up (recently an Indian Ex-prez was frisked) and the senstivity among indians has proved to be quite high.

Commentary here ranges from outright revenge (“We should strip search every american coming into india!” screams one woman into the camera,) to more thoughtful discussions on the increase of religious fears in the United States and cultural differences between the two countries.

It’s a little discomforting to hear such anger about americans but it’s also enlightening to experience the situation from the viewpoint of the indian nation. It’s clear that this is not just about their Brad Pitt being treated in this manner; it’s that the United States genuinely didn’t recognize their Brad Pitt and they would have recognized ours. It’s as much cultural pride as it is the politically incorrect behaviors played out by the individual few.

I have to wince a little when I hear people expound on racial profiling. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t what occurred here, especially on a flight coming from Mumbai where most of the persons disembarking were Indian. I have gone through customs multiple times this year between Europe/Asia/USA and what I can say, as I’ve judged internationals coming into the states and being questioned, is that while racial profiling might have been part of the issue, SRK’s attitude probably didn’t help. I’m of course making a significant assumption here but I find it hard to believe that if he wasn’t carrying anything or he wasn’t brandishing a weapon he wouldn’t have sailed through security. Instead he probably popped an attitude, maybe was even so condescending that it was a matter of pride not to detain him. ("I told them I am a movie star," Press Trust quoted Khan as saying. – You can see where this is going, right?) Yes, I’m giving the customs official the benefit of the doubt. But frankly, US customs officials need a few people on their side these days.

I don’t know the answer on how to make customs/security screening any more fair. I don’t think wearing a burqua (hard to screen security wise) or a T-shirt with arabic writing about the ‘paradise of death’ on it, or as I presume in the above case - acting like a total dickhead - is the best way to get through security/customs undisturbed. I also don’t know if India has any right to judge America on it’s security techniques. I’d be interested to see how India would react if the 2008 Mumbai bombings were carrier out by white guys in Texan hats. Perhaps they would be more tolerant than we appear to be. However, I hope no one will ever have the opportunity to judge the differences in our security protcols in the face of our culture clashing.

Weekend retrospect

It’s Sunday afternoon here, around 5:30 or 6pm. It’s 8am in Boston. I know this because my sim card still will not work and my phone is stuck on east coast time.

I didn’t do much yesterday, slept a lot and read “Murder on the Orient Express.” It was also raining off and on with little warning and I didn’t want to be stuck outside when a monsoon hit so I moped aorund indoors and rested. I still don’t have internet. I spoke briefly to Eric on Friday who tried to commiserate with me on the lack of it which was sweet but annoying. “Yeah, I feel so cut off and remote” he says to which I rolled my eyes. I’m in F’ing Mumbai, okay? You’re in maine.

Today was the first day I could actually sleep in and I finally rose around 1pm. Nice thing about India is that you don’t need to shower b/c inevitably you smell better than everything around you. So I threw on some clothes and took a walk around my “neighborhood.” I have a cinema right next door to me which is cool, but there were no american movies playing. Even indian new releases were out as mumbai is shut down for swine flu and theatres are not recommended for people to sit and stew in each other’s virus breath. I wandered a bit more down the block, found a mall and some restaurants. Crossed a street (yay!) and then stopped because somewhere between the street and the mall and normal mumbai I ran right into the slums. Not sure how that happened except that the architecture of Mumbai reminds me a lot of boston – it’s an old haphazard type of city and things are just thrown together due to need rather than any forethought. Went back to the mall, found a TGIFriday and grabbed a beer at the bar.

Here is what I have learned so far: going to an american restaurant for a beer costs you the same as if you were in america drinking that beer. KFC commericals should be outlawed b/c they are so sexually explicit they make me blush. Bugs and other little creatures are something I’m just going to have to get used to. And finally, I need some ex-pat friends pronto, I haven’t had a conversation in 3 days.

jet lagged

Writing thoughts down, wish I had internet so I could blog, but this post will just be delayed.

So far I’ve had the normal reactions I expected: Excitement, anxiety, realism, and a small attack of “get me the f out of here.”

Biggest challenge is culture. I’m not really sure what is correct, what is not. It's hard to even understand queues from mannerisms b/c they are so different (for instance, shaking your head no here is a common movement to express "I'm listening"). I am also having a hard time communicating with the two people I interact with most (cook/driver) making my stay here very isolated. Last time I stayed at hotels so the staff was able to converse and I was in a 5 star hotel which made it feel a bit more like a fun international holiday. Now, in an apt., the Indian way of life is surrounding me to the fullest. The smell of the apartment is distinctly indian (curry?) with stone floors to keep the place cool (makes it less homey and cold feeling) and weird bathrooms (really, what is up with the bucket in the bucket that is in EVERY bathroom in india? Even at the work one?). The kitchen at first glance seems normal but there is no stove or oven and this is common. A 3 burner hot plate sits on the counter instead. A washer but no dryer (uncommon for dryer, people hang stuff outside their windows and doors alll over the place which does nothing to help with the aethetics of the city).

My housekeeper guy is very nice but we can’t talk and this has already led to multiple episodes of blank stares and wild gesturing which has yet to clarify anything for me. I think I am constantly saying the wrong thing: Today I spoke to a co-worker and mentioned how nice it was that it was sunny, not raining. He told me “this was not a good thing, to have monsoons end so quickly.” Whoops.

I guess it’s a sad state of affairs when everything is so foreign around you that a can of coke is the most wonderful thing you’ve seen all day. Then just as you go to take a sip of it -- as if a slow motion movie is playing out infront of you -- 3 people scream “nooooo!” as you put your lips to the outside of the dirty can. Well shit.

Becoming reality

So, I just signed my offer letter, am getting docs together for my business visa, and am starting to make a mental list of clothes I need to pack.

This is really happening...small panic attack...but yes, it looks like Mumbai will be my new home in a few weeks.

Since it's monsoon season, I will post a pic of what I shall be returning to in a few...

Hives and other incidentials

I'm not sure if this happens to everyone but for me I find myself victim to multiple precursors and portents. Potentially moving to India for an extended period of time is no different.

It all started on saturday evening when I met a friend who was in town for dinner. He suggested we eat Indian food. Since this will soon become a staple diet in my life I thought it best to start getting used to eating it all the time and quickly agreed. Thanks to "chow hound" we found a rather small but pleasantly well reviewed food restaurant serving southern indian cuisine and when we arrived at 9pm the place was packed thus encouraging us we were at a very fine eatery.

Shortly after my scrumptious Masala Dosa and samosas (and a few drinks at a local bar) I headed home and then began to scratch my arm, in what I could only assume was a bug bite. About 2 exits later I was annoyed that the litte bloodsucking fiend had hit me up not once, but twice on the same arm. Then, about 3 exits after that I began to realize that either the devil bug's whole family had descended on both my arms or something else was going on with my itchy-ness.

When I got home I took off my shirt to find both arms covered in hives. There were also unfortunately some small hives around my knee area. My fingers had a few bumps as well (and were the most annoying to try to scratch because it kind of hurts to do that).

I traveled to Maine the next day and the hives only got worse. I'm now stuck trying to decide if I'm allergic to indian food, mexican food, or possibly KFC and if the hives responded to me eating additional foods or potentially being in my bf's mold infested apartment. On the bright side, if I do move to India I can at least narrow down the type of cuisine that instigates my hive reaction by my flare up or lack thereof.

Time Out

I'm taking a small interlude from traveling posts due to the fact that I am home at the moment. I'll be returning to India in a few weeks where I am sure much hilarity will ensue. Please check back soon!

Journey and Arrival

I guess it's rather fitting that I arrived back in India on fathers day, being that this is the home country of my paternal lineage.

Before I get there though , several curiousities greeted me as I made my way. First, there were a significant amount of bosnians on the flight to london. Second, Heathrow is the worst airport ever. Third, I must have some sort of traveling presence b/c at least 5 different couples asked me to explain to them information about traveling (ie do I fill out htis immigration card? What do i do to get my bags? When Do i board the plane?) In fairness most of these people had limited to no english. Maybe I just seem bi-lingual. Fourth, flight attendents do not believe I'm 21 years old thereby creating a rather embarrassing moment of me searching for my passport to prove I'm not making shit up.

I would write more in descriptive detail except I'm pretty sure I"m going into delerious mode and befor eyou know it this will turn into a blog about me declaring my undying love for seth green. So before I digress I would like to make a quick commentary on the few dark hours of India I have seen.

First, India is HOT. I'm quite nervous about the weather I'll be experiencing tomorrow when I go to work. Second, Delhi is different. The last time I was here it was dirt roads intermingled with some pavement, roads were littered with nothing more than a directional idea, etc. Now you have stop lights, the rickshaws are all motor operated, I ddint' see families packed onto motorcyles and old style 40 cars. The majority are modern vehicles, no unsafely traveling families on 2 wheels, and stop lights! They are even building a metro.

I must sign off and sleep, I'm about to keyboard face. More on this dynamic change when I get to view it in daylight and I am able to stay awake.