Aruba: The non-exotic Goa

I just got back from a spontaneous trip to Aruba, much needed after a harrowing few months ripe with family drama.  I had planned to go to Thailand but had to cancel the trip and in a fit of mental overload, booked a 5 day/4 night respite to the Caribbean.  I took a few swimsuits, my kindle loaded with Martin's new book (A Dance with Dragons) and some sunscreen.

My original plan had been to relax and maybe see a few sights but let's be honest, I sat on my ass the whole time.  I only got up to take a swim, apply some sunscreen, and grab a pina colada at the bar when the guy didn't come around fast enough to grab my order. 

Several unfortunate truths were made clear to me on this trip.  They are as follows:

1) India has the best hotels.  I am now a spoiled brat who refuses anything less than being treated like a queen. 

2)  India is a better place to holiday

3) India has better food

4) India is cool.  Aruba is very pretty but it's no india

My relationship with India is a love/hate one.  This, I think, resembles my father's relationship halfway, in which he hated everything about India.  However, there are certain luxuries that cannot be ignored about the subcontinent.  Let's take for instance Goa - the holiday location for Indians which I would put similiar to the Caribbean for Americans.

What I disliked so much about Aruba was that it had no culture.  Well, let me rephrase.  The culture was not pervasive.  Everything here was catered to americans.  If you might doubt my synopsis let me provide some evidence:  the airport had 2 sections:  USA travelers and non-USA travelers. 

Goan Architecture

Goan Church Architecture

India doesn't cater to anyone.  It makes no excuses, it does not languish to adhere to eastern  culture even though many of it's visitors are nepali, chinese, russian, and eastern european.  It is proud of what it is.  Goa was landed by the Portuguese in the 1600s and due to this it has long indian roots with a splash of spanish/Portuguese influence making it slightly Mediterranean.  But it's India through and through and it reflects it's history in all of it's glory.  Hindu temples are dotted with spanish and moor architecture.  Meats from the west are mixed with extremely spicy (EXTREMELY spicy) curries of the east.  Fish of all sorts are baked in banana leaves with chilis and coconut and cashews (cashews are one of the biggest Goan exports).  Drinks are spicy and the bread is nutty.  It's hot and dirty in places and that's what makes it authentic.

House in Goa

Aruba seems like a lie.  It seems like a destination with all the comforts of home.  It seems like Howard Johnson circa 1960 with dunkin donuts and fries.  It's houses offer you some semblance of Island life but they seem almost forced, built up to pretend, a veritable drive of US money to supplicate the few who would ventue to see it for it's orginiality.  It screamed false to me.

House in Aruba

But lest I become too zealous in my overtures let me say this:  Aruba is a fantastic vacation spot.  The island has little to no waves, making it calm and inviting.  It's always sunny, it's always warm.  It's ocean rippling with blues of cyan, a deep azure, and a colder sapphire took my breath away.  I just wish it didn't feel like it needed to hide behind something it really wasn't:  a conglomeration of western civilization.  I say this not to the people of aruba, but the people of the states who would sooner see a culture disappear then revel in it.

My early morning swim locale in Aruba

Home again

Hello!  I've been meaning to write up this post but to no avail, time and life are once again in crazy full swing now that I'm back in the USA.  That's a great segway to inform you that I do in fact miss a lot of India - mostly the quiet times (errr. loud enviornment) but also my alone time.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE seeing people again, and I hope to do it every day onward but life without plans and agendas is pretty darn sweet.

Since I've been back I've barely finished a 300 page book (normally a 2 day reading affair for me in India).  I've eaten Indian food about 10 times and I have  realized just how great a cook Anand was.  I've also done my laundry and cleaned which totally sucks.  And of course Nitin the chai guy is sorely missed.

Culturally I'm still going through a process of reintegration.  I'm not like, really reintegrating but what I mean is that in a very personal and internal sense I have a lot of reconciliation to do.  I'm adjusting to different stimulus, ways of thinking and perceptions and trying to make sense of all my new found information in a world that is so familiar but is also being seen in a brand new way. I suddenly realize what people mean when they say we are "wealthy."  We are so wealthy it's actually gross.  Space and size seem overdone and egregious.  People's problems (as a society) with government and lifestyle seem indulgent and frivolous. 

But I'm glad to be back with my friends, with my familiar, and the day to day things that make me smile- I find that I missed a lot more than I realized.  I am glad I got to experience my heritage and see how "my peeps" live but I'm also glad to be back to my life.

Thanks for following me on my adventures.  Your comments and your support have meant more than you know.

Happy Holi!

The adjective "colorful" is often used to describe India and Holi is probably the best festival which captures this idea.  It is, actually, "The Festival of Colors."

I don't know much about Holi.  It seems to incorporate many portents for celebration.  It has a Hindu flair (little holi, the night before, celebrates an old story by the lighting of bonfires) and a more druidic or natural piece as it falls on the last full moon day of the winter season.  I believe it is more of a xmas type festival where it's merged mutliple historical contexts into a large party day.  It is a national holiday (most festivals tend to be regional, this is one of the few that is celebrated throughout) and it's ALL about color.  Mostly throwing color powder or water.  On people.

For those of you who happen to be "amazing race" fans you might recall the espisode where contestants had to run through a crowd of people throwing colors at them.  I've also seen TV commericials in india with people holding someting similiar to a water gun which shoots out the stuff.  It's pretty damn impressive.

I have been warned and told not to leave my house tomorrow as I will most likely "get colored" and some of it will not wash off with ease.  I am going to try to make it to the apartment complex festival and hopefully will be able to take some pics of the fun from the gates.  I'd like to experience it somewhat!

Happy Holi! 

I do!

 India has given me a completely different perspective on a very specific thing: marriage. I certainly don’t consider relationships the same way anymore.


Here there is a very distinctive difference between arranged and the opposite – what Indians call “love” marriages. It’s pretty common for everyone to know about other people’s marriage situation and sometimes it pops up in conversations unexpectedly (ex: at lunch someone has a dessert and the comments fly, “oooh of course you got that thanks to your love marriage….”).

But the love marriages themselves are seen as practical and it’s insightful and dare I say – a more mature process – than what we have in the US. Even people wildly in love are not necessarily considered perfect matches and it seems this concept is more obvious and less of a learning experience than in the states. One friend at work was telling me she and her now husband were crazy about each other but never considered actually marrying because they were so different. Finally after a few years, they got together and asked each other the questions that most couples ask before hitching up: “How many kids do you want? What are your life ambitions? What are you working for and towards? Would you stay late at work instead of going to a child’s bday party?” At the end of this they realized they were finally on the same page. The question that lynched it? She asked him, “If your mother and I got into a fight, whose side would you choose?” His answer: It would depend on what the argument was about but I would talk to both of you privately to resolve it.

Conversely, but equally interesting: people that I've spoken to without love in their marriage treat this as just what was the luck of the draw. But it doesn’t detract from the concept of having a rewarding and successful partnership.  There are of course exceptions to every rule but I find what I've expressed above is more of a majority than not.

I believe the thing that differs between our two cultures is people’s expectations. Without these notions of the other person ALWAYS having to agree with you or ALWAYS being there for you or ALWAYS being passionate with you or ALWAYS just knowing what you want and how to satisfy you – it definitely lends to a more practical partnership in life. The concept overall really balances with my ideas of why marriage exists and it's benefits .

Woe of the time: 'shockingly' complicated

This is not a picture of my place, but I can empathize.

One international travel frustration that is usually overlooked is electronic paraphernalia and electrical issues.


I was frustrated and confused about my xbox not working here but it seems that I’ve grown accustomed to jimmy rigging all my other electronics to somehow work decently. When I was home for 2 weeks I had to constantly remind myself I could directly plug something into the wall and charge it.

Currently my electronic boutique consists of my india phone, US phone, kindle, computer, hair straight thingy, Nintendo DS, and 2 cameras. I think that’s it. While I have 8 major devices I have over 30 cords for them (between electrical cords, usb cables, battery chargers, etc) Beyond the straight up plug modifier you need to worry about amps in each of the devices, whether or not you need a converter, as well as potentially needing a stabilizer. My kindle is a world adapter cord with built in USB and wins the best design ever award. From me. Even though I have india adapter cords w/ reduced amps  for my phone and comp they seem to really dislike the voltage and though they charge up full they die inordinately fast.

Additionally, my plugs that convert two to three prong (or vice versa) have been royally fudged which means my cords no longer stay in them, they slide right out. This sucks because I have to plug a converter into the actual device plug and then attach the India plug adapter to the converter but the converter falls out, making charging anything impossible. On top of that they aren’t actually labeled well so am I using the European version? The Australian? The African? I have no idea. Does it seem to fit into the wall? Yep, sure okay. I now charge most of my electronics through my computer and usb port, which is another exercise in jimmy rigging and how not to electrocute yourself as some of my devices don’t come with a usb plug. I have one remaining prong converter which doesn’t let my converter/plugs slide out which I use very sparingly as it’s what I use for my hair straight-ner and if that goes I’ll be a total ugly mess.

Wow that makes you look fat

One of the more prominent cultural differences between east and west is the way people speak and interact with each other. People here tend to be a lot more blunt and upfront. Although this is something that I originally noticed it is something that continually surprises me.


For example the other week, as I got dressed with my female co-workers for a work party. If you want to know how you REALLY look, just get dressed with a bunch of people who are not Americans. Here is a sampling of the commentary:

“No, don’t wear that color, it doesn’t suit you.”

“You need to comb your hair.”

“Don’t use that type of brush, it makes your hair look bad.”

“You need to start oiling your hair.”

“You are going to put on some makeup I hope.”

“You are putting that eyeliner on wrong. Let me do it.”

“You should wear skirts more. Pants don’t work for you.”

It's humbling but also nice to know that if you do look fat in something, you'll be told.

Misculture

So I kind of got in trouble today because my boss sent me a message and I didn’t get it. Well I “got” it but I didn’t look at it. It was sent via SMS (ie. Text) and who the hell in the US sends business info via SMS? My comp and blackberry were open, but I didn’t have my Indian cell phone out…jeeez. I don’t understand why if you are looking at an email on your blackberry you send a SMS instead of replying to the email. Whatever.


Also, we are moving offices. At first I was excited. “Oh will it be quieter in the new area of town?”

“Quieter?” My co-workers say to me incredulously.

“yes…quieter?”

“This area is quiet. The new area will be loud.”

Oh.

Mumbai in one word.

When I was home I tried to sum up my experiences in as short a timeframe as I could and I often found myself trying to whittle down the life of Mumbai to one word (an obviously futile exercise but one due to timing; not wanting to repeat myself continually I tried to do in order to be gracious to people who wanted to hear a little about it without a 5 hour lecture from yours truly). I usually would say: chaos. On coming back after my brief respite home I realize that my word choice was incorrect. It should have been: juxtaposition.

I have not communicated how strange and sometimes wonderful, sometimes shocking, the worlds and lives of Mumbai intersect. There seems to be many different types of life here, ranging from the poorest you can think of to the most decadent you could imagine.

Walking outside and glimpsing the activites happening you can catch the varying differences. Old school cabs mixed with new Mercedes. High skyscrapers and racing technology mixed with carts driven by ox or people pulling them. It’s like a fantastical gateway of two planes of time colliding – one, not able to catch up, the other too far distant to hold back.  It's one of the many many things in life that can only be experienced in India.

 

The Return from Goa

Wow, that was quite the trip.  I loved goa.  Want to go back.  Like, now.  Although the Bebinca was awful!  And the cashew liquor tasted like moonshine but not as refined.  Yeah, bad.  Otherwise, it was paradise.

Goa makes it very hard to leave India. 

To Goa I Go!!

Packed my bags, have my tickets and passport, my kindle is all charged and stocked up with several books!  My camera is a ruined heap of metal thanks to me dropping it on the ground so I'm hoping my travel partner can send me some of her pics to share.

My co-workers and friends have all been giving me ample ideas for things to do in Goa (I was content with sitting on the beach but there seems to be a lot more things to do).  At least the list contains mostly food to eat.  That I can do no problem.

love and hate

I’ve started eating with my co-workers. I know this sounds a little weird but before I would get my lunch served to me at my desk every day. Now I eat with my co-workers in the lunch room. It’s nice because everyone brings their own food but we have a staff who heats it up for you and serves it to you at your table with fresh bread. A little luxury, indeed. I really like the group eating except everyone takes my popudums. I love popudums and apparently my cook is the only one who makes them or brings them because they are totally gobbled up as soon as they are set on the table.


Eating with everyone has modified our relationships slightly and when I look back on my time here it was a great mistake for me to wait so long to join them. I probably came off as a snobby American elitist. I think more than anything though it’s modified my mind frame. I feel a little more included into the culture as it were and I find I’ve become enamored with Mumbai’s ways.

Mumbai is all about a love hate kind of relationship and I think the more you start to love Mumbai you can’t help but get annoyed at it. The city and it’s people are so friendly and open. Why don’t you JUST BUILD SOME f’ing SIDEWALKS? The smells of food are so amazing. Why can’t you just improve santitation? Would it kill you to clean up the streets of trash? Religions and peoples of all backgrounds seem to live in peace and harmony. Why must there be a symphony of dog howls, honking horns, and firecrackers every single night??  

Mumbai, such a strange beautiful messy city.  Colorful Hijabs, cows and goats meandering down busy streets next to people in bmw's and business suits.  Techno dancing drowning out hindu chanting drowning out the constant noise of traffic.  Sometimes while I'm sitting in a car and watching a new arrival from our boston office staring out the window I realize how amazingly crazy it all is, and then I also realize in that same moment how less crazy and expected it is to me.  I like that feeling.  And I hope that the person staring doesn't get a bad idea of the place by all the filth and disorder on the streets.

But that’s kind of the deal with Mumbai. I love it because it’s vibrant, colorful, and chaotic. And I hate it because it’s smelly, dirty, and chaotic.  But it wouldn't be Mumbai without both elements.

lights! Firecrackers! heartattack!

I am slightly conflicted about Mumbai. I like the city the best, especially visually, when it's a festival time: there are amazing lights all over the place, the energy in the city picks up but somehow radiates more ease making it less rat racy and more vibrant. However, the noises...oh gawd the noises! They will drive me batty.

Yesterday was Eid and there were no firecrackers at all. I don't want to get into a religious argument but as of now, Islam is winning over Hinduism in the celebration festival column.

I realized this week that I haven't left Mumbai since I've arrived here August 13th (which I believe would skew any reasonable person to irrate ideas). So in order to combat that issue I just booked a trip to Goa. I'm quite excited to get away for a few days.

“Delhi Guys are Aggressive”

Says a guy from Delhi to me.

“Yeah, no shit.” I think. This thought came after having several opportunities to meet guys from Delhi. The word ‘opportunity’ is a misnomer - I should replace that with the word ‘experience,’ as in what you go through to learn from and become adept at either confronting head on or avoiding completely at a later time.

And while my experiences have manifest into a strangely coincidental occurrence of all culprits being from Delhi, (I’m just repeating what people in India say to me!) I would encourage these practices regardless of where people originate from.
Here are my pieces of advice for fellow single women travelers:

Do not sit alone by yourself

There is a reason my male friends in Mumbai (in retrospect I had no idea how lucky I was to meet right on the onset) informed me women in Mumbai do not go out without a guy friend with them. Because men are all OVER YOU. “What’s your number? What are you doing? Let’s get a drink! Let’s go right now. Let’s go back to my place.” Um, usually in america we exchange greetings and sometimes even a few words before we go there, buddy.

Do not carry any interesting paraphernalia which could be a potential icebreaker

Do you own a kindle or a blackberry? For the love of god leave that stuff at home.

Do not feign interest in their existence whatsoever

Trying to be nice? Trying to let them down easy? Trying to act civil while discouraging their lead? Stupid you (err stupid me). You gotta just shut that shit down pronto.

If you are from a bitchy country like the UK, France, or the USA use that to your advantage

Are your people known for their rudeness, distance, or lack of humanity? I’d suggest putting that cultural smugness into full affect if you are trying to rid yourself of unwanted attention. Condescension is always a romance killer.

If you sense someone staring at you, do NOT look up or stare them down, just ignore it.

I’ve learned by unfortunate circumstances that the stare down is apparently a female breeding call – where American men would be admonished, it appears to be an invitation for conversation and paying for dinner. Do your best to avoid.

I guess traveling without your boyfriend nets you on the “available” chart for most men. I’ve actually never been very good at telling guys to go away, mostly because I’ve rarely – if ever -- had a guy approach me out of the blue. I’m not good at being rude, nor do I want to be rude, but how can you politely ask guys to just stop bothering you?

Signs of assimilation

1) I get upset at having to spend more than 300 Rupees (6 bucks) on a meal and drinks.

2) In odd times of temperature drops to 65 I think it quite cold and get annoyed

3) When someone wants to have a meeting at 9:30 I look at them incredulously and say, “in the morning???”

4) I catch myself singing along to commercial jingles

5) I wake up early on weekends to get a good internet connection and find it odd that people expect me to have a somewhat decent connection at all times, especially at night

6) I found a few Indian women following my lead across the street! (they must have been visitors to Mumbai)

Insomnia Cont’d: Top 5 Strangest Indian TV Commercials

1. The Indian Pied Piper: So the concept is obviously off nationality wise but there is something so interesting about an Indian guy with a flute dancing bollywood style, signs that become animated rodents and follow him out of the town being cheered on by townspeople in turbans and saris. The commercial completely captivates me every time it’s on.

2. Abortion Pills: It’s nice to see how a religiously conscious country not politically beholden to the word of any religion reacts to certain issues.

3. Skin Bleaching products: There are so many of these types of commercials it’s no longer even phasing me. The variety still continues to inspire though: Dark spots, body bleach, face whitener, streaky skin, etc.

4. Namco Cookies/Crackers: I suppose this would translate better if I understood Hindi but the ad contains a house on fire, a happy woman, a sad man, a set of cookies, and then the guy decides to throw the firecrackers at the woman’s feet making her scream and dance. This makes him happy.

5. Boy turns into dog: A boy walks home from school, finds mom sad on the porch and then proceeds to get on all fours and act like a dog for 20 seconds. At first I thought this was a commercial for animal food, etc. but then the logo for the state bank appears on the screen. Hence weird.

Tables/Tops, Games, and India

It’s been almost 3 months since I arrived in India. While it’s the longest time I have been away from the States, it also happens to be the longest stretch of time that I have not table-topped gamed since 1994.


The thing I’ve learned about myself is that it is actually possible for me to survive without D&D, albeit in a not as happy state. I haven’t done any sort of search for a gaming group in India and I don’t even think I’d want to play with people here, minus the initial cultural curiosity that would prompt me to see if they did in fact game the same way. And why doesn’t the word “curiosity” contain the letter ‘u?’ Does anyone else think that’s weird?

Doing some initial searches of gaming and the industry itself net pretty bleak results. “D&D Mumbai” search will give you a forum question and answer about the board game. “Gaming groups in mumbai” list no value results except a few deceptive leads that take you to forums where people speak about the Mumbai attacks. There does seem to be a few stores in Mumbai that at least sell the D&D core rulebook, which is pitiful. We are talking a city almost 3x’s the size of NYC – think about how many stores in NYC sell specialty Indian Books (20)! Tabletop gaming’s appeal is just not permeating the Indian youths. Of the entire country of 1 billion people, Bangalore appears to have the most forum results but that’s a college town and an IT town which together spell D&D but even those reults seem pallid and slim compared to what a town that size should be encompassing; I guess there is some comfort that at least somewhere around here people are doing a little tabletop.

“LARPing in Mumbai” nets such irrelevant results that I felt even more pathetic for typing it in google in the first place.

Do Indians just hate magical fantasy games?  I don't buy it.  The country that created chess has got to love complicated strategic games and it's obvious by the Knight, Bishop, and Rook that they are a sucker for a party based system (rogue, priest, warrior anyone?).   I guess we'll be finding out soon - Blizzard just launched the first WoW server in India this summer. 

Dude, where's your floor?

I walked into my building today and the security guard stopped me to show me a piece of furniture that he said was mine.  He gave me paper, I told him I didn't order anything, he said it was my company.  I asked if I needed to sign anything.  This was all communicated in Hindi, and apparently poorly.

A guy standing there looked at me trying to figure out what was going on and jumped in to help communicate to the guy.  I thanked him, still unsure, took the paper, and walked toward the elevator.  The main security guy came out, saw the paper in my hands, said "nonono" took it, then I shrugged and got into the elevator.  The main security guy said something else to me so  I stepped out of the elevator, the english speaking dude  helped translate again and then we got into the elevator.  I pushed my floor and asked him what floor he was going to.  He pushed the floor before mine.

In the elevator he started to small talk me with the standard stock questions:  where you from?  Why are you here?  Where do you work?  What do you do?  You get the point.  He was a younger guy, not unattractive.  He said he worked at Chase bank and took a lot of calls from Boston people.  His name was Amit.  The door opened at his floor, he didn't get out.  The door closed.  I said, "you missed your floor:"  He smiled.

We got to my floor, and he got out with me.  It was only a few seconds later and he said "I'll walk up, my uncle is on the 16th."  Which was weird to me that he pushed the wrong button.  Then he asked if he could have a glass of water. 

"Oh, well, I don't have any filtered water."  I lied.
"That's ok."  He said.

By this time I was at my door with the door open, which unfortunately looked right into my big filtered water cooler completely full.

"Oh, they must have replaced it."  I said  I kept the door open and got him a glass, standing in the doorway.  Just then my phone rang.  It was security.  Security and I always have a 5 minute conversation in 2 different languages and I never know what the heck the point of the call was.  Something was different this time -- after a few minutes he said, "I'm coming" and hung up.

In the meantime Amit was very nice, casual, giving me tips on commuincating with indians "use hand signals!  It helps."  I nodded. 

"Why are you here to see your uncle?"  I asked.
"For Money."  He said honestly.
"Well, I'm going to go grab a drink."  I lied, grabbing my bag and keyes and shutting the door.  I suddenly felt exposed with my living area open.  Just then security came up.  Lots of Hindi resumed.

I walked down to the lobby with security because he kept pointing at me and I suddenly did want a drink. 

In the lobby Amit started talking with the security people.  He pointed at me, they pointed at me, and he said, yes, they said no.  More Hindi.  Voices were now raised.  2 other men gathered around, none of which spoke english apparently.  One looked at me and shook his head, as if in sympathy with my plight, which I knew nothing about.  Finally in the middle of the yelling I said, "Amit, what is going on?"

"They are telling me my Uncle isn't here and I have to go."  I'm not stupid, I knew that he was using me to gain access to the building and security had already decided not to let him up but he must have told them when I walked in that he knew me.  But I was morbidly curious on what was going on and what his motivation was to be there so i decided to stay.  Finally he looked at me and said, "did you want to go for a drink?"

"Yes, I'm going to go next door, you are welcome to join me, but i'm only having one."  I planned to confront him over a drink, try to get out the real story. 

"Are you having beer or wine?"
"I don't know."
"Let's exchange phone numbers."
"Ok" I said, thinking that if nothing else, I'd have some way to track the guy if in the future the apartment building asked questions about him.
"Do you want to go over to another bar?"
"No."
Silence.
"So, you want to go to the bar?  You don't want to order in beer or wine and stay upstairs?"
"No, I want to go out."
"So are you having beer or wine?"  I racked my brain trying to remember if roofies disolved faster in one or the other while thinking does this guy want to date me or does he want one of my kidneys?

"Look,"  I said, going from curious to exasperated faster than I knew possible, "I'm going to have a drink. Right there.  I am having one, then I'm going home.  Alone.  If you want to join me you are welcome.  If not, thanks for your translation help."

"What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Amit, you are being kind of weird."
"I'll get some ATM Money and meet you!" 
"Um, ok."

I sat down at the bar, pulled out my kindle, and hoped I would be left alone in peace.  I got my wish.

The Effect of The ‘Bama

Most Americans, regardless of political affiliation, are aware of how the election of Barack Obama has heightened the world view of the US. I too, was similarly aware of the notion that it would somehow increase our standing abroad.

Living abroad, and seeing it in actuality, provide a much different viewpoint on the subject.

I’d be doing an injustice to remain silent on the subject; its effect is so pervasive it’s actually necessary for me to discuss. It’s important to note that it is not at all about Obama’s policies, his diplomacy, or his leadership that lead to these emotions of him, it’s simply who he is that brings about such passion. I run the risk of sounding cliché when I speak of it and it troubles me because it’s such a tangible essence that it needs to be taken seriously. Obama’s election reminded people what America stood for, it reinvigorated the American ideal and dream; it made hope attainable.

Hope is something that most Americans attribute to better living: higher salary, ultimate leisure and consumerism, and an identifiable place in society. These are not necessarily ungallant notions or goals, but it is easy for us to forget what the hope of others might be as we live out our lives. I do not put myself above this, in fact I put myself smack in the fray. My political machinations, my idea of success, my ultimate goals for happiness are things I only categorize as living my life in the united states. It doesn’t make me or anyone else in america less or more of a person, it only makes us unattached to the trials of others.

While some of my realization on the subject has happened when speaking with Indians, a great more of it has happens while I have spoken with expats. It’s easy to forget that almost every country has a minority or in worse cases a suppressed population with their rights varying depending on the situation. Some are dealing with social and financial disparity, others still with slavery, exile, and genocide. Sometimes my conversations will with foreigners travels to politics and in some cases they engage in a lively discussion. More often than not, their eyes glaze over – until the subject of Obama is broached. This is when many an eye lights up. Most conversations go in such a similar fashion that I find it remarkable that of all the differences in the world there seems to be one equal sentiment.

“Obama!” Head shaking. “Unbelievable.”

“Unbelievalbe how?” I ask fearing a litany of anti war rhetoric.

“That America…that you elected this man. America, it is the leader of all things in the world. And America, has elected this man, a minority! You’ve changed everything for everyone else in the world. You…America, you have changed everything!”

I paraphrase many a conversation and I hope I have not done any of them a disservice, but when I hear those words, I can’t help but get emotional and a bit prideful. Obama isn’t the answer to the world’s problems, and I think what politicians and a lot of people don’t get is that it’s not the POINT. He represents an idea of human equality. He represents the overthrow of human oppression. And in America, while we continue to fight along political frontlines and rumble about millions vs. billions, the rest of the world sees something much more in his election by a white majority.  They see us, for all our remonstrations and perversions, as an idea that works.  Not even just for americans in america, but maybe...just maybe...for them too.

Daily oddities

Here are some things that happened to me over the past week:

- My office was under the false impression that I practiced Islam. It’s a weird thing to mistake. It’s ironic too since most people in the US office assume I’m Jewish. Anyway, the food here is very fattening. I’ve had to have Anand cut back on cooking since I jumped up about 10 lbs. my first month – I now eat fruits, raw veggies, and yogurts and light sandwiches for dinner and only eat Anands heavy ghee, oil, cream, curry and chapati lunches. While this has brought me back down in weight, I am apparently considered to be “fasting” and therefore some religious mistakes have occurred.

- I’ve made multiple attempts to befriend my expat neighbors. However, whenever I go up to the 18th floor (which contains 3 doors to different apts) no one answers any of them. I will say that at first I only tried one door per visit in an attempt to narrow down which flat they were located in. I’m now at the point of pure frustration and buzz on everyone one in the span of 10 seconds - with no door openings. Fail.

- I’m probably going to go see a movie every weekend going forward. The movie theatre is right next door. I went yesterday to see Inglorius Basterds (and don’t nitpick me on spelling…that’s what you get for giving your movie a messed up title) and the theatre has these big plush red arm chairs that you can practically lay down in w/ recline - AND stadium seating. It’s immense. And so comfy!!! I loved it. Hopefully most amerian movies will be playing in one of the "Red Lounge" theatres.  So cool.

- I’ll never get used to the sideways head nod which denotes acquiescence but to me looks like a very strong negation. There is nothing like explaining a process to someone and having them sit there and look at you shaking their head back and forth. “What don’t you understand?” I’ll ask in my most patient voice I can muster. And they look at me with confusion – “I understand” they say and then I remember that shaking heads no mean yes.

- Trying to book a last minute mini vacation for the weekend since it’s Diwali. I’m slightly motivated by my security guy who keeps asking me about Diwali and some weird thing about a tip or 3000 rupees. I have no idea what the hell he is saying to me. I figure leaving would be best – no confusion and no tip/present requirement. Ok, that’s not really why I am motivated but it’s still weirding me out.  I’m excited to get out of Mumbai though, breathe some halfway decent air (no offense to Mumbai peeps but it's true, this place does not have clean air).

Top 5

Here is my Top 5 list for Mumbai!

1) Food. I love the taste, but especially the smell. If you are walking down the street and catch a whiff you almost want to clobber your way through to wherever the smell is emanating from in order to stuff it down your throat. And yes, if you happened to have caught my company news article I lied. I didn’t know what else to write, it was a political nightmare. The food here is amazing and I love it.

2) It’s very colorful here! Not only are the streets filled with people in amazing Saris and Salwars, cars and trucks are even decorated to the hilt. There are splashes of pinks, reds, purples, gold, greens, yellows – any color you can think of and it’s everywhere. And these are not the muted choreographed colors of 1st world countries, it’s a bold pop. Additionally between stall colors and posters and carts set up on the road showing off their colorful jewelry or fruit or other wares, it is surrounding and encompassing. It’s lively and it’s invigorating and it makes me happy.

3) I’m sure in a city of 22 million there are shady and mean characters. However, I have been fortunate to run into only the opposite. India has a cultural understanding of ‘hospitality’ and people are generous with their time, food, and other material possessions. If you say you like something, they ask you if you want it or if they can get you something similar. If you say, “I wish I could cook Indian food like this.” They invite you over to their house so their wife can teach you her method. They are indeed genuinely worried that you feel comfortable and happy in their country.

4) Mumbai has a lot of foreign investors paying a lot of mind to it. It is the 3rd highest growing real estate market in the world and it has a ton of cheap labor and highly skilled services available. It makes the city pulse with a clearly different type of national and international feeling. Most of India tends to be regionalized but here it seems so many people of different cultures, classes, nationalities, etc. are mixing. While the aesthetics are something left to be desired, the cosmopolitan feel cannot be. It’s easy to find a European in a coffee shop or an Australian sitting next to you at dinner. Sometimes you talk to what you think is a Mumbai native and they end up being from London or some exotic South Continent locale. It’s surprising but also educational. And people are friendly and willing to talk, not at all like the stuffy New England area.

5) I hope I don’t come off as a prick but I really do enjoy having someone to help me with household chores. I’m a notoriously hateful cleaner. I dislike it so much that I hire people to do it for me at home – and that’s just cleaning my house. I still have to do dishes and laundry myself. So having someone cook, clean, go shopping do my laundry, and bring me hot lunches every day – well let’s just say it’s nice to see how the other side lives. Even if only for a few months.